How to Talk About Trauma in Therapy: 7 Tips From a Therapist
I’m Kristin Anderson, LCSW, a psychotherapist with a focus on trauma treatment. With over a decade of experience, I’ve had the privilege of working with clients to help them navigate and heal from traumatic events. My training in trauma-informed therapy, as well as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), psychodynamic therapy, and EMDR, allows me to approach trauma from multiple perspectives.
I know how the idea of jumping into therapy can sound daunting, especially when thinking about having to discuss "what happened" with a new person. My purpose in this post is to provide practical tips for talking about trauma in therapy to hopefully help make the process feel more a bit more approachable and less overwhelming. By offering these strategies, my goal is to help you find the right trauma informed therapist for you, feel more comfortable and supported in your mental health, and help you feel ready you take the next step to heal from a traumatic event.
Who are these tips for?
Starting trauma therapy can be daunting and the idea of talking about your traumatic experiences may seem even scarier. In this article, we'll talk about what anyone who has Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) or has experienced trauma can expect when starting therapy and some key tips to help you feel ready to talk about trauma.
When talking about trauma, it's important to reflect on what exactly we mean. Not all trauma survivors are the same and there are many different forms of trauma. Trauma is an emotional response to a deeply distressing or disturbing event that overwhelms an individual’s ability to cope, causing feelings of helplessness, diminishing their sense of self and their ability to feel a full range of emotions and experiences. Common examples include childhood trauma, sexual abuse or assault, emotional abuse, neglect, sudden loss, along with countless other events that may have been overwhelming and scary. While some trauma survivors may have experienced multiple traumatic events, many others may experience a single event that still causes a posttraumatic stress disorder.
Whether you're seeking to specifically process trauma, to reduce PTSD symptoms, or just looking for new coping mechanisms, my goal is to help you feel ready to take the next step. or just trying to figure out how to discuss certain events in therapy in general, these tips can help you to feel ready to jump in during your next session.
How can these tips help?
Why the need for these tips in the first place? While not always easy, addressing trauma in therapy can help you process and make sense of what happened. This kind of sharing can help you in your development of new coping strategies, can reduce some of the trauma symptoms you may be experiencing, and help you to co-regulate your nervous system. Time and time again, I’ve worked with clients and have seen that the disclosure of trauma in a safe and supportive environment can increase emotional resilience, build stronger relationships, and provide a deeper understanding of who they are beyond their trauma. Conversely, it's essential you don't feel required to disclose anything if you're not ready to do so yet, as research has shown that pressure to disclose trauma can actually hinder progress rather than help it.
Remember, trauma is not a “one-size-fits-all” experience and several of these tips may not resonate for you. Feel free to use only the tips that feel right for you and adapt them as needed. With support from your therapist, this resource can help you navigate your mental health journey and progress in your growth and healing.
7 tips for talking about trauma in therapy
Talking about a traumatic event or specific trauma memories during your therapy session can be challenging and maybe even scary. These tips can make the process less intimidating and help you feel more comfortable as you work through your experiences.
1. Trauma Expertise Matters
How to do it:
While there are many therapists that are generalists, when dealing with trauma recovery, it’s important you seek out a therapist who has specific expertise in trauma and who will be truly trauma-informed. While there are many different therapy modalities that can be used for trauma related memories, some of the specific expertise with modalities you may want to be on the lookout for include Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), Prolonged Exposure Therapy (PE), or Somatic Experiencing (SE).
During your initial consult with a prospective trauma therapist, it can be helpful to ask if they have experience working with trauma survivors, if they provide trauma focused therapy, and about the specific techniques they use.
How this can help:
It can be hard enough to find a trauma trained therapist who fits with your schedule and location, so asking about their experience with the type of trauma therapy you’re seeking will help you make sure you’re getting connected with someone who can help you. It’s essential that you feel supported and well-guided during this healing journey and a therapist who is trauma-informed is a key component of that.
2. The Right Fit is Key
How to do it:
Finding the right therapist is about more than just expertise—it's about connection. Research shows repeatedly how a positive therapeutic relationship is a key element for therapeutic progress. Take your time exploring different therapists, and notice how their approach makes you feel. You’re looking for someone who feels like a good fit, someone who sees you, hears you, and creates a space where you feel you can truly be yourself.
In those initial conversations, tune into your gut. Do you feel comfortable? Do you sense that this is someone you can trust with your story? Can you imagine yourself sharing a specific trauma memory with this therapist? Trust is built over time, but that first feeling of safety is your starting point.
How this tip can help:
Trust and safety are the cornerstones of healing. When you find a therapist who makes you feel fully seen and heard, it gives you the courage to be vulnerable. And it’s in that vulnerability that real growth happens. The right therapist helps you feel supported and respected, creating a safe harbor where you can navigate the traumatic experience and come out stronger on the other side.
3. Prepare in Advance
How to do it:
As you begin therapy, take a moment to reflect on the top three things you hope to achieve. This is your anchor, your guide. As you move forward, before each session, carve out a little time to think about what’s been on your mind. Maybe it’s a thought that keeps circling, a feeling that lingers, or a memory that surfaced in a dream. Pay attention to what feels particularly meaningful or heavy this week, and jot it down.
How this tip can help:
Walking into therapy with a sense of purpose gives you a feeling of control in a process that can sometimes feel uncertain. When you focus on specific areas, the session becomes less about navigating unknown waters and more about steering toward what matters most to you. This kind of intentionality makes the journey feel more manageable and grounded.
4. Use grounding techniques
How to do it:
You and your therapist may discuss different grounding techniques such as deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or focusing on your senses during session. You can help prepare yourself for talking about trauma in session by practicing these grounding techniques before and during therapy sessions. If you start to feel flooded when going back to traumatic memories, having practiced these techniques will make them easy for you to access even as you start to become overwhelmed.
How this tip can help:
Grounding and coping skills help you stay centered during therapy, preventing feelings of overwhelm when discussing traumatic memories. These techniques can also be useful outside of therapy, helping you manage distressing emotions in daily life.
5. Lean into creative expression
How to do it:
Whether you consider yourself a creative or not, using creative outlets like drawing, painting, writing, or even music to express the emotions that come up around trauma processing can be a wonderful tool. your emotions and experiences. Sometimes these are tools that can help you access affective content, even when if can be hard to describe what you're feeling.
If you're comfortable, it can be a great exercise to share these creative projects with your therapist in session as well. This can open up new avenues for discussion and understanding.
How this tip can help:
Creative expression offers a different way to communicate difficult emotions, making it easier to explore trauma without feeling overwhelmed. It can also provide a sense of control and agency, helping you process your experiences in a way that feels safe and manageable.
6. Create realistic goals
How to do it:
Start by setting small, manageable goals for your therapy sessions. Maybe it’s simply getting more comfortable with your therapist or focusing on one specific memory that’s been on your mind. Give yourself permission to take it slow—you don’t have to unload everything all at once.
Collaborate with your therapist to establish these goals and check in on them as you move through your healing journey.
How this tip can help:
Setting realistic goals is about honoring your pace and your process. It helps you manage expectations and eases the pressure to rush through your trauma story. This approach allows you to move forward in a way that feels safe and sustainable, creating space for deep, meaningful healing over time.
7. Practice Self-Compassion
How to do it:
Begin by recognizing the immense courage it takes to face your trauma. Remind yourself that showing up, being seen, and engaging in therapy is a brave choice. Be patient and gentle with yourself, acknowledging that healing is a process filled with both setbacks and progress.
Encourage yourself with affirmations and nurturing self-talk. When you catch yourself being self-critical, pause and replace those thoughts with kindness and recognition of your efforts.
How this tip can help:
Self-compassion is a powerful tool in the healing process. Remember that speaking to ourselves with kindness actually strengthens our resilience and equips us to handle the difficulties of delving into traumatic experiences. This approach helps you to honor your journey and recognize the tremendous strength it takes to be vulnerable in therapy. By cultivating a compassionate inner voice, you reinforce your worth and progress, making each step in therapy a testament to your resilience and capacity for growth.
Trauma Therapy: In My Experience
In my work, I often find myself humbled by the courage and resilience of my clients as they navigate their healing journeys. Addressing trauma in therapy can be a daunting task, but witnessing the incredible growth that emerges from such vulnerability is deeply rewarding. The work of trauma therapy is always a reminder of the profound transformations that can occur when individuals confront and work through their past experiences. I consider myself fortunate to be a part of this process and to see the strength it fosters.
These experiences not only ground me in my practice but also deepen my appreciation for the strength I get to witness in my clients. If you're feeling apprehensive but hopeful about discussing your trauma, I'm here to support you with empathy and expertise, helping you move toward healing every step of the way. Reach out today to book a free 30 minute phone consultation and we can discuss how to get you the support you deserve.
