Feeling Stuck? Navigating Your Quarter Life Crisis
“What’s my next career move?” “Why are all my friends getting married and I’m still single?” “Why is everyone moving forward in their lives and I’m getting left behind?”
If any of these questions resonate with you, you’re not alone. In your mid to late twenties, societal expectations can feel especially overwhelming. During this time many people experience a critical transition where the realities of adulthood clash with childhood dreams. Everyone is at different places in their careers, love lives, and friendships. Some are getting married while others are navigating the complexities of single life, and many are coming to terms with their career choices and feel intimidated by the future.
What is a Quarter Life Crisis?
Many of us feel the pressure to “settle down”, start a family, and accomplish career goals. This can create an internal dialogue of self-doubt and frustration for not meeting the expectations you might put on yourself to be on the same level as your peers. Social media can feed into this narrative that you aren’t doing enough and make you feel behind on your journey. It’s easy to compare yourself to others when scrolling through social media highlight reels that showcase “perfect lives” - beautiful vacations, successful careers, fun weddings, and couples in love. We often forget that these reels don’t expose the struggles that can come with the happy moments. 70% of young adults experience the emotional challenges of “adulting” and can feel extreme levels of stress, anxiety, or depression in trying to keep up with their peers or societal expectations.
In reality, there is no set timeline that everyone must follow. Each person’s journey is unique, with different challenges presenting themselves at various times. Understanding that you are shaping your own path forward can help alleviate feelings of self-loathing and insecurities of the Quarter Life Crisis.
Career Crossroads
After graduating college, there can be an intense focus on what your career path will be with the understanding that you may undergo some career changes during your twenties. As you enter your mid to late twenties, there is more emphasis on having a concrete plan of what your career should look like for the next thirty years. This can be incredibly intimidating and create intense anxiety for those unsure of what they want their path to look like. The pressure to climb the corporate ladder or go back to school to achieve a higher degree or change careers entirely can leave people feeling so overwhelmed and unable to make a decision. Many people at this age experience a sense of imposter syndrome - feeling unqualified or undeserving of their position, even if they’re very capable. Approximately 60% of adults between the ages of 25-33 years old report that finding a job they’re passionate about is a top contributor to their Quarter Life Crisis.
If you feel like you’re at this point in your career, it’s essential to take a step back and reflect on your career values and how your career could help you create the life you want. Whether it’s salary, work-life balance, the potential for growth, or job satisfaction; each person has their own reasoning when it comes to what’s most important to them. In these moments of uncertainty, it can be helpful to speak to others that are in careers you might be interested in, invest in hobbies that fulfill you, and do research on different courses that could help you feel more qualified for a specific career. Through these experiences, you can learn about yourself while simultaneously overcoming obstacles keeping you from your next career move.
Relationship Status Dilemmas
When catching up with friends or family, often the first question asked can be about your relationship status. Depending on your answer, there is typically a follow up question that has you judging yourself on where you’re at. We are usually our own worst critic when it comes to our choices, whether it be about career choices or our love life. Having friends that are getting engaged, married or starting a family can make you question yourself and why you’re at a certain point in your journey. The truth is, wherever you’re at is right where you need to be.
If you’re single, you may feel the judgment from societal expectations or family members on why you aren’t settling down or dating someone seriously. Unfortunately, these questions can hurt even if they aren’t intending to. It’s easy to internalize these judgments as personal failures adding to another reason why you “aren’t successful”. As society evolves, people have become more empowered to not let their relationship status define their success and who they are as a person. Sometimes, this can be easier said than done. Through supportive therapy and reflection, we can reflect on the unique advantages being single in your mid to late twenties can offer.
On the other hand, if you’re in a relationship, about to get engaged, engaged, or married, you could feel overwhelmed by where others are in comparison to yourself. There can also be outside pressures telling you how you should be committed and what that role looks like. Society can be quick to enforce, “if you do this, this, and this you will have a happy relationship and life” ignoring the many nuances of relationships and the significance of self-fulfillment to a happy relationship. Regardless of what your relationship status is, there is not a one size fits all answer. Embracing the unknown and accepting the different phases of your journey can help you feel less stuck.
The Pursuit of Self-Discovery + Finding Your Community
During this unique stage of life, there are many questions that come up of whether you’re doing the right thing, making the right career choice or making the right decisions about your love life. It’s an important time to explore what you truly feel will help you live your most authentic life. While this can feel overwhelming or daunting, it is crucial to self-discovery and the most important relationship in your life, the one you have with yourself. Since the Quarter Life Crisis can truly feel like you are in a crisis state, it can be valuable to integrate self-reflection in your daily life to gain and maintain clarity.
Healthy Habits of Self-Reflection:
Journaling - Taking time each day to write out your thoughts can help you prioritize what’s most pressing to you and understand it more clearly as well as reduce stress and manage anxious thoughts in the immediate moment
Meditation - With our busy schedules it can feel impossible to take a minute for yourself, incorporating meditation into your day-to-day routine can support your emotional health by reducing stress physiologically (through decreasing your cortisol and heart rate) which can be particularly beneficial for depression
Therapy - Working with a therapist can provide you with a safe space to express your thoughts and feelings free from judgment and develop your self-awareness to identify negative thought patterns and triggers
The process of self-exploration can be just as important as the end goal. Having a supportive community as you undergo your transformative journey can help you feel less isolated and alone. Discussing the difficulties you’re having with friends who are in a similar situation can help normalize your struggles and highlight new solutions.
Feeling stuck in your late 20s is a common experience that many people face. I talk about recognizing that it’s just a phase of a much larger journey with many clients. Allowing yourself to explore what fulfills you, make different choices based on new self-discovery, and redefining your goals through therapy can be a transformative experience that helps you break free from feeling stuck and provide a new perspective on your life. If you’re struggling to navigate the pressures of your late 20s and craving support, I’m here to help you from an empathetic and encouraging approach. Please don’t hesitate to reach out if you’re interested in working with me, and book a consultation here.
