Tips to Navigate Dating in NYC & Make Yourself Emotionally Available
Do you find yourself wondering why dating in NYC is so hard? If you’re single in NYC and feeling frustrated by the dating scene, you’re not alone. Recently a study came out claiming New York City to be “the worst city in the U.S. for dating”. Navigating the world of dating can be both daunting and exciting. Many New Yorkers find themselves wondering how to meet people, how to make the first move, or how to make themselves feel emotionally available. Look no further, in this article we describe different tips and tricks to empower yourself to feel ready to conquer the dating world and love yourself in the process.
Ways to Meet New People in NYC
Join Local Meet-Ups/Events: Since NYC is so big, it can be easy to feel isolated and unsure of how to meet new friends and immerse yourself in the community. Utilizing social media to learn about different gatherings and events in NYC can help you feel more connected and meet people with similar interests. Challenge yourself to go up to someone new and start with a simple hello. Although New Yorkers have a reputation for not being friendly, you might be surprised by the positive and welcoming response you receive.
Participate in a Class: Whether it’s cooking, theater, writing, or fitness, NYC has numerous class opportunities for everyone. This class could open up different common interests and could be the starting point to a new friendship or romantic relationship.
Try a New Activity: Pickleball has taken over NYC and become a great way for all genders to meet new romances or friends in a light, fun way that doesn’t require too much physical strain and a great way to get out of your apartment. Many people have also reaped the benefits of classes like salsa dancing, a pasta making class (and party!), sailing at the Chelsea Piers, going for walks along the West Side Highway, grabbing a drink a new bar, or trying a new exercise class. Exploring NYC and putting yourself out there by trying new things can help you feel more engaged in the community and be a great way to meet new people.
Connect Through Dating Apps: It might seem cliche, but dating apps are a great way to meet new people and broaden your social network. Online dating is much more common than you might think, 53% of young adults between the ages of 18-29 reported using a dating app to meet new love interests. Suggesting a fun date like trying a new restaurant, grabbing a coffee, going for a walk along the West Side Highway or in Central Park, or trying a new activity can be a great way to get to know someone while enjoying all that NYC has to offer.
Just Be Yourself: According to most people, confidence can be extremely attractive and alluring. Presenting yourself in an authentic manner and feeling empowered by your emotional availability and self-awareness can help you put your best foot forward when meeting new people. Through the process of therapy, you can recognize your strengths, develop coping mechanisms for anxiety, and practice ways to feel your most genuine self. After all, being yourself is the strongest tool you can have to meet new people and live your best life!
Unique Dating Apps & Events to Broaden Your Scope of NYC Dating
Thursdays - To shorten what can sometimes be a strenuous process, this specialized app has a fun strategy of engaging its users on Thursdays to match, chat, and meet new potential partners. The app also offers the opportunity to become a host where you’re able to organize events to meet and connect with like-minded individuals in NYC. There are also many dating events and trips offered throughout the year to give you ample opportunities to participate in the dating world including speed dating, ski trips, and collaborations with popular food brands.
Tawkify MatchMaking - This app boasts a network of over 1 million relationship-ready singles boosting your potential for success and acting as your “own romantic personal assistant”! A thoroughly researched matchmaking design with great reviews to help you feel more confident in your dating journey.
TimeLeft - Users of the app are encouraged to meet new people every Wednesday for dinner. The app matches 5 strangers up for dinner, all matched by their personality algorithm system that thoughtfully engages individuals of all different backgrounds to enjoy a meal together.
Fun Accounts to Follow for Meeting New People in NYC on Instagram
@Datinglistnyc - struggling to come up with a good idea for a date? Recommendations for romantic, solo, and group date ideas for anything that might spark your interest can be found on this account. Challenge yourself to try something new or explore a new part of NYC!
@NYCdatenite - an account run by a native New Yorker provides a detailed how-to and where-to guide on dating and eating in NYC. A great place to start looking for new ideas of date night ideas and fun restaurants to try!
@Nomorelonelyfriends - this account encourages you to step outside your comfort zone and meet new people by offering a range of events from game nights, meet ups, walks, and fun seasonal activities to experience NYC to the fullest!
@Nomorelonelyruns - if you’re a runner and want to spice up your running experience, this account is a great way to meet more runners and find new running routes. You never know what run could lead to your next date or romantic relationship!
@Citygirlswhowalk - NYC is all about walking, whether it’s to the grocery store or in Central Park it’s a quintessential part of New York life. This account hosts a weekly walk, coffee networking events, and welcomes anyone interested in walking and meeting new people.
@Hotandsocial - a fun way to find new connections, romantically or as a friend, is by exploring similar interests with new people. Learning new skills in a warm environment can help you embrace your inner strengths and build confidence to meet new people. This account details a wide variety of activities to participate in and ways to empower yourself to make friends and find new romantic relationships.
Defining Emotional Availability
Many people view emotional availability as a key determining factor for their success in dating. Being emotionally available means being open to connecting with others on a deeper level, which can be a challenge due to past experiences, fear of vulnerability, or struggling to feel confident. In my work as a psychotherapist specialized in dating and relationships, I often help individuals discover what’s holding them back emotionally from fully engaging in a relationship or even meeting someone for the first time. Emotional availability and self-awareness often go hand-in-hand as being emotionally available embodies the ability to express feelings and being in the mental head space where you feel comfortable engaging with someone else without fear of intimacy, judgment, or commitment. By becoming emotionally available with the support of therapy, you’re opening yourself up to more meaningful, fulfilling relationships. Setting up a consultation with me for therapy can help you discover new ways to find self-compassion as you encounter the difficulties of dating in NYC.
Tips to Feel Emotionally Available
Practice Self-Reflection: It is essential to reflect on your past relationships and try to observe any positive or negative patterns that may have shaped your view of yourself or how you present yourself when meeting someone new. During this reflection, you can ask yourself if there are any unresolved issues that need to be addressed and what steps you can take to work through these issues. With the support of a therapist, you can sometimes come to these conclusions quicker and gain clarity on what baggage should be prioritized to confront. Journaling can also help you outline your experiences and get a deeper understanding of what’s bothering you most.
Set Clear Intentions: As you prepare yourself to dive into the dating scene, it’s important to clarify your intentions and identify what you’re hoping to gain from the experience. Are you looking for a serious relationship, casual dating, or simply wanting to connect with new people? Whatever your intention may be, being honest with yourself about what you want can help you approach dating with confidence and clarity. By having your clear intentions in place, it can also help you communicate this openly with potential partners to avoid misunderstandings.
Develop Emotional Awareness: Enhancing emotional intelligence can be crucial to your process for building meaningful connections. Practice recognizing your feelings and reactions, notice their origins, and distinguish how you cope with negative experiences. Taking an active step to pay attention to your emotions can help you connect with yourself and communicate your feelings to others more effectively. Utilizing Mindfulness techniques can have a profound impact on how you understand yourself and past experiences, supporting you to clearly articulate your needs and boundaries.
Embrace Vulnerability: As we learn more about how to create more meaningful relationships, vulnerability has become a superpower that can strengthen your relationships with others and yourself. A study by Hinge reported that roughly 93% of people in the dating world want to date someone who shows emotional vulnerability. You can practice by taking small steps like sharing personal thoughts or stories with friends or family. Therapy can be a great tool to get yourself comfortable with sharing your thoughts in a judgment free way. As you gradually become more comfortable, you can ideally extend your vulnerability to potential partners. Ultimately, showing your true self can help others do the same and help you connect with someone on a deeper level.
Empower Yourself to Make the First Move: Making the first move can feel extremely intimidating, whether you’re entering the dating scene for the first time, getting over a past relationship or anywhere in between. Shifting your mindset to view diving into the dating world as an opportunity to put yourself out there instead of intimidating or hopeless can make a huge difference in how you present yourself when you first meet someone. If you’re interested in someone, don’t wait for them to approach you. Simply start by saying hello, start a conversation, discover common interests, and suggest meeting up. Confidence is underrated and very attractive, and by showing genuine interest, it can help break the ice and learn new things about each other.
Establish Healthy Boundaries: Putting yourself out there to meet new people for romantic reasons or to make a new friend can be overwhelming and exhausting. In your efforts to make meaningful connections, it’s important to recognize when your social battery is running low and you need to relax. Creating healthy boundaries is crucial to maintaining your mental health. Being conscious of your limits regarding time, energy, and emotional investment can help you find balance as you meet new people. Having the self-awareness of your boundaries can also support you when you want to clearly communicate these boundaries to potential partners. Incorporating healthy boundaries can reduce your risk of burnout and help you engage with others as your most authentic self.
As much as we would like to make ourselves emotionally available overnight, this is not usually the case. Remembering that the process of opening yourself up to new people and experiences takes time can help you be kinder to yourself throughout the journey. Be patient with yourself as you navigate the dating scene and be sure to check in with yourself during the process. As a licensed psychotherapist, I’ve learned that emotional availability is essential to creating a meaningful connection that is fulfilling and helps you become your best self. Becoming emotionally available for dating is a journey that requires self-reflection, vulnerability, and proactive steps toward connecting with others. By prioritizing your mental health, setting intentions, and cultivating a positive mindset, you can create meaningful relationships that enrich your life. Take the opportunity to embrace the adventure that is dating with an open mind and remember to always be compassionate to yourself in each experience.
In my experience, making yourself emotionally available to date can be a difficult task when tackling it without support. Booking a free consultation with me can help you open up about specific dating and relationship challenges, break down patterns from your past in a judgment free, supportive environment. If you feel ready to start this process, please feel free to reach out to myself or one of our top NYC therapists specialized in dating and relationships at Madison Square Psychotherapy.
