Processing Grief and Practicing Self-Care After the LA Wildfires

With the devastation of the LA Wildfires over the last week, it’s important to acknowledge the grief and trauma that has impacted so many and ways you can practice self-care to strengthen your resilience. Whether you live in L.A. and had to evacuate or had your home burn down, know someone that may have had to evacuate, or are connected with a firefighter helping to contain the fire, the anguish is immeasurable and the ripple effect is felt by many. Growing up in California, the dangers of potential wildfires always felt like a scary, threatening potential disaster; I am heartbroken for all those who have been affected by this traumatic tragedy. Prioritizing your mental health after the wildfires is extremely important as you navigate these unprecedented times.

Grief is a universal experience, one that touches everyone at some point in their lives. It is often associated with the death of a loved one or the end of a significant relationship. Grief can also emerge after trauma that alters your sense of stability, such as evacuating, losing your home, and uncertainty of how to pick up the pieces. While grief is deeply personal and shows up differently for every person, there are common threads in how you can process it, ways to nurture yourself through the journey, and build emotional resilience.

Understanding Grief

There’s not one “perfect” way to process grief. It often comes in waves, without warning of what might trigger you and how you react to that trigger. Grief is not experienced by everyone in the same way, so it’s important to be kind to yourself and others as they try to navigate through the uncharted waters of such immense devastation. I often tell clients what an instrumental role our own self-judgment can play in grief and how important it is to be gentle with yourself when processing these experiences.

Some common manifestations and reactions of grief include:

• Emotional Responses: sadness, anger, guilt, anxiety, or numbness

• Physical Symptoms: Difficulty sleeping, loss of appetite, fatigue, or physical aches or pains

• Cognitive Impacts: difficulty concentrating, intrusive thoughts about the loss, confusion

• Social Changes: feeling isolated, withdrawing from others, struggling to articulate or communicate how you’re feeling

Acknowledging that grief is a natural, human response to coping with loss, trauma, or overwhelming change can be the first step toward healing. It is something to be understood and navigated, instead of something to be “fixed”. Practicing self-compassion in moments of uncertainty can help you feel more grounded, think with more clarity, and help you on your path towards emotional trauma recovery.

Helpful Books to Read About Grief:

• This is How you Heal by Brianna West

• Bearing the Unbearable by Joanne Cacciatore, Ph.D.

• You’re Not Crazy – You’re Grieving by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D.

Ways to Process Grief

1. Allow Yourself to Feel

   Suppressing emotions about the post-wildfire trauma of losing your home, losing a loved one, or evacuating can lead to prolonged grief. Prolonged grief is defined as intense and persistent grief that causes issues and interferes with daily life. By giving yourself permission to feel any and all emotions, including sadness, anger, uncertainty, or loneliness, you can embrace self-acceptance. No matter how big or small your loss was, the impact of these wildfires can bring up a variety of emotions. Research actually shows that utilizing different tools like journaling, meditation, exercise, going for a walk or calling a friend can help you feel these emotions and process them in a constructive way.

2. Talk About Your Loss

   Expressing your feelings with trusted friends, family members, or a therapist can have a profound impact on your healing process. Connecting with others can alleviate feelings of isolation in moments of despair and loneliness while also making those emotions feel less overwhelming. In such unsettling times, it’s essential to talk with others about the emotional journey you’re undergoing and reach out for extra support when you need it. Dealing with anxiety after natural disasters can feel like a daunting, impossible challenge – but reaching out to others that may have experienced a similar loss can be a crucial emotional healing step. 

3. Honor the Memory

   Losing your home, your neighborhood, or loved ones can create a sense of loss that feels unbearable. Finding ways to honor the memory of these people and places can help you feel a continued sense of connection. This might include writing a letter detailing all of the beautiful memories created in your home or neighborhood, helping friends and family that have lost everything by helping with food or clothing drives, or participating in rituals or ceremonies that resonate with you. Making new photo albums can help honor the memory of what’s been lost and help you feel connected to your memories. Companies like Chatbooks, have offered to reprint lost photos from the California wildfires at no cost. 

4. Accept the Timeline

   Remind yourself that grief has no expiration date. You are more than allowed to take your time to process all of the trauma that you’ve persevered through. Comparing your progress to others’ can lead to unnecessary self-judgment at a time where kindness to yourself (and others) should remain top priority. Understand and embrace that your timeline will be different to your peers and healing may take longer or shorter than you expect.

5. Reach Out to a Professional

   Unfortunately, grief can sometimes feel too heavy to carry alone. If your grief from these unprecedented times is interfering with your ability to function in daily life or you feel like you’re stuck in deep despair, reaching out to a therapist can provide valuable tools, resources, and support to help you navigate these difficult times. Therapists at Madison Square Psychotherapy are specialized in supporting individuals through grief. It’s never too late to start therapy and get the support you need.

How to Practice Self-Care While Grieving

Practicing self-care while grieving is not about escaping pain but instead creating a foundation of resilience and mental self-care tips you can fall back on to help you navigate your emotions more effectively. Stress management during disasters and learning how to process loss and change can help you feel stronger during this time. The most important way to show kindness to yourself and others is by taking the time to take care of yourself. Below are some of the best ways you can practice self-care:

1. Prioritize Your Physical Health

   Grief can take a toll on your body. Meeting your physical needs can help you lessen the effects of grief and feel like you’re in control of something during these times when everything else feels out of control. To be mindful of your nutrition, focus on eating balanced meals that provide your body with the energy it needs to cope with stress. Incorporating some form of gentle exercise can reduce feelings of anxiety and depression and act as a healthy distraction. 

2. Practice Mindfulness

   Engaging in mindfulness exercises for grief can help ground you in the present moment, reduce feelings of overwhelm and support you in navigating the variety of emotions you might be experiencing. When working with clients, I often try to integrate mindfulness practices that would be helpful in daily life when experiencing symptoms of anxiety or depression. Techniques like deep breathing, guided meditations, or body scans can help you reconnect with your body and find moments of calm amidst what feels like a never ending storm. At Madison Square Psychotherapy, our therapists are experienced in helping our clients practice mindfulness tools that can support you.

3. Engage in Activities That Bring Joy

   While it might feel difficult or “wrong” to experience joy during grief, engaging in activities that once brought you happiness can provide moments of reprieve. These activities can be big or small, as long as it’s giving you what you need in the moment. This can include reading, listening to music or your favorite podcast, or going for a walk – small acts of happiness can remind you of life’s beauty. For some people, helping others during these overwhelming times of devastation can also bring joy. Finding volunteer opportunities for wildfire recovery can help you find strength after tragedy and help you see how communities can rebuild after disasters.

4. Set Boundaries

   Does the idea of going to happy hour after work sound exhausting right now? Give yourself permission to take a rain check. Grieving can make you feel emotionally and physically drained. It’s okay to say no to different social or work obligations that feel too taxing. Checking in with yourself to see what feels right for you is essential to your overall well-being. Communicate your needs to others and prioritize yourself in any way you can.

5. Lean on Your Support System

   Reach out and accept help from others. Whether it’s a friend offering to cook a meal, a family member checking in, or a friend providing a listening ear, allowing others to support you can ease the burden of grief. Sometimes it can feel difficult to accept help when we need it the most, try to embrace the support from those around you and seek professional help if the pain becomes too overwhelming. When coping with uncertainty and isolation, it’s important to remember you’re not alone and there is support available in whatever capacity you want.

Coping with the tragedies of the L.A. wildfires can look different for everyone. Whether it’s reaching out for support, processing the effects of trauma on the body, or helping wildfire victims, these can help strengthen community bonds. As you navigate these difficult times, self-compassion is key. Be gentle with yourself, recognize your progress, and allow yourself to feel all that comes with the grief of the LA wildfires. Participating in the healing process doesn’t mean forgetting all that you’ve been through but instead growing and strengthening your resilience despite the tragedies you’ve faced.

Processing trauma or grief and practicing self-care is an intensely personal journey. Remember that you don’t have to walk it alone. By leaning on others, engaging in self-reflective practices, or seeking out professional support, there are many paths to healing. By honoring your emotions and nurturing your mental health, you can move toward a place of acceptance and peace. 

If you or a loved one are seeking therapy for trauma survivors following the LA wildfires, please feel free to book a free consultation with me or one of our top NYC therapists to navigate your grief in a supportive, healing space